Loving someone is never easy. Breaking up with that someone after you have exerted much effort, time and heart is excruciatingly painful! You would probably know what it really feels if you are reading this now. At times, some said that women heal faster because they cry and are more open with their emotions. On the other hand, men do not heal as quickly as women because they are more reserve with their emotions. However, from my perspective, I find that men do not hurt as much as women do, but I do not deny that some do suffer.
In my years of courtship, I went into depression and insomnia 2 times when I broke up with my ex-boyfriends. Yes, I broke up with them but I felt every pain. It was so painful that I could hardly breathe! I have tried numerous ways to cure my bleeding soul and one method I found most useful is to do my prayers and chants. This is one method that works best for me.
I’m a divorcee now. Yes, My marriage ended. I like my ex-husband Brian, but we bumped into too many misfortunes and we are simply not compatible. I have no idea why I always feel that he doesn’t love me, or maybe not enough. Am I being greedy or is it him who fails to deliver his love to me? Lately, someone asked me if I still love him. It is rather hard to erase some lovely memories, so yeah, I still love him but I’m 100% certain that it is impossible for us to be together again. Well... enough of my story. Let me now share some of the methods to heal a broken heart that works excellent for me.
Do your prayers or try to meditate. Find somewhere quiet and comfortable. Make sure no one disturbs you and switch off that cell phone! Let out your emotions, cry if you need to. After that, try to relax your body and mind. Make an effort to brush off whatever rubbish that enters your mind (it is hard initially but it is possible)! Keep trying, relax your muscles and you will be surprised how much tension left after that.
If you are having severe depression, insomnia or too much sleeping, lack of appetite, low self esteem or fail to carry out routine task, seek professional help. Then again, regardless of what professional advice or medications, at the end of the day, it is you who is in control of your own self. Be strong and have the determination.
I love to travel when my heart is broken. I would go sourcing for travel agencies and go to somewhere I have not been to. I'm planning a vacation to Australia some time next month. Do not go back to some place you have been with your ex, unless you want to rewind those unhappy memories.
If you have many friends, surround yourself with them. Arrange for outings or just for a cup of coffee. Force yourself to go out. I tend to cry out my emotions to my friends or contacts via MSN.
Pamper yourself. Go for a new haircut, shopping or a body massage. Treat yourself to something you enjoy.
Consider dating other people. It is part of a healing process.
Resist the urge to call your ex, unless you really want reconciliation and please make sure it is worth it. Do not allow yourself to be hurt again due to a moment of impulse decision. I broke up with one of my ex-boyfriends twice and we reconciled only to know it was a mistake. A huge mistake… So, think before you dial that number.
Always remember that healing takes time. Give your heart time to recover and you will be so glad that it is over when you think back after some time.
Stella is a top agent in her company and has just concluded her biggest business deal for the month. Her energy for the day has drained up and the coffee machine has broken. She can’t wait to be home to unwind for the day, pamper herself in a warm scented bath, and hope that her loving yet unemployed boyfriend is setting up a romantic dinner he has been promising her. With whatever energy left in her body, she walks home the moment the clock strikes at 5.30 pm. She enters into her home sweet home and her other half is lying around with his play station, watching her telly, eating the food she bought and then ask her to pay for his credit card bills for him! Stella is furious but she holds on to her frustration out of love.
The above example shows that Stella is dating a loser! According to most relationship gurus, the percentage of boyfriends taking advantage of their girlfriends who are financially capable is increasing at an upsetting rate. In this modern society, women can also be the major breadwinners because they have become far more independent than their mothers and grandmothers.
Money has been the number one issue for couples other than sex, infidelity or personal differences. Many new couples avoid discussing about money because they find it to be sensitive as well as unnecessary and this is a key reason for relationships to breakdown as it develops. Your relationship could have trouble surviving unless you find a way to balance the issue before the situation escalates out of control. If you are dating a man who does not contribute his responsibilities to the relationship, you will probably end up feeling cheated emotionally and financially when things don’t work out.
Try to talk about the real problem with him as well as his responsibilities to you and the relationship. In many cases, you will find him avoiding the subject matter and may even respond furiously or violently in order to protect his comfortable situation or insist that you continue feeding him, especially if you are a smart professional woman. So, what’s next? Well, if you cherish the relationship, give it a final attempt and consider consulting a counselor who specializes in couple’s therapy. If he is not willing to compromise despite all the discussion and counseling sessions, you know he is only after your money and the best solution is to get away from him ASAP! Never give in to this sort of man. Money cannot buy love and do not let him to brainwash you. Always remember that no man should think that he could escape from his responsibilities just because you are financially fit!
Take a simple test below to see if he loves your money – more than you!
• Do you have to pay when he takes you out for dinner?
• Do you pay for both movie tickets and popcorn all the time?
• Does he borrow money from you occasionally and never pay back?
• Do you have to buy the traveling tickets when the both of you go for a vacation?
• Does he argue with you when you ask him to contribute money paying for household necessities and bills?
• Does he drive your car all the time; refuse to buy his own when he can afford to or treat his own car as a “garage queen”?
• Do you find yourself spending three quarter of your paycheck on him every month?
• Does he ask how much business or money you made everyday when you come home from work?
IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO MORE THAN THREE QUESTIONS ABOVE, WATCH OUT! DANGER AHEAD! YOUR BOYFRIEND IS ALL OVER YOUR MONEY, BIG TIME!
I will discuss about men who fail to fulfil their responsibilities as a husband and father in my upcoming post. So, stay tune and be happy always :)