Love and Relationship

Hi all. I want to thank my blog visitors, supporters and those who had commented on my blog =D You guys are awesome. Thank you again. OK, this post is going to discuss about the existence of love at first sight. Do you or do you not believe in it? =)

Last couple of months, I was chilling out at Starbucks with my boyfriend and there was a bunch of school girls sitting next to our table. One of them told the rest that there was this guy she really fancies from her tuition class and she believes it was love at first sight. I think it was attraction at first sight though! Immediately, I questioned my boyfriend if he fell for me at first sight and the answer was No. LOL! He didn’t offend me in any ways because in reality, I believe there is NO love at first sight.

There is fascination at first sight, lust at first sight, captivation at first sight, or infatuation at first sight, but love at first sight? Hmmm… it is possible for some of you out there but for me, it is a big NO. I am not saying that it is wrong to feel in love when you met that someone. In fact, a lot of us do! In my teenage years, I fell in love easily and stupidly when I see a good looking guy (uh, who doesn’t?), became overpowered with desire and I thought it was love at first sight but I learned that I was wrong.

How can you tell that it is love the moment you have just met that someone without really knowing him? The attraction from the other person often clouds our mind causing us to feel that we are certainly and completely in love although we have never interacted with that person. I would say that this is normal because most of us have created that ideal soul mate, the fairy tale love story in our mind since adolescence.

Then again, feeling in love at first sight can be emotionally dangerous. Let me tell you why. At most times, we will be easily attracted to another person especially if you see someone who matches the criteria of a perfect partner you have formed in your mind, like a drug. This attraction may be great and pleasurable, especially if that someone reciprocates. But what if he doesn’t? Are you going to keep chasing over a shadow and flood your mind and body convincing that he is the one when he is simply uninterested? I have seen people falling into great depression because they failed to get that someone whom they perceived to be the One.

If you think that you are in love with a man you hardly know or who is not interested in you, be strong and force yourself out of the thought that he is your prince charming. Do not allow yourself to feel the unworthy pain. You may have found a man who perfectly fits your mental likeness but he may not be the one for you. Clear your mind, let go of your obsession by engaging in healthy activities or try talking to a good friend for healing.

Remember that love is more than attraction and lust. It takes time to develop and to blossom. True love is really about caring, understanding, respect, and communication that can only be achieved if two people are willing to reveal their true self to each other and compromise.

=)

Falling in love is great, especially if you have stolen the heart of your dream guy! However, there are things you must know if you want to be the coolest girlfriend around!

Just be yourself
Do not be desperate to impress him, whether it is by saying or doing things you would not do normally in an effort to sound cool or stay quiet just because you are afraid of saying the wrong thing. Over-impressing someone will sometimes affect the way you act and he will notice you to be fake and unnatural eventually. So, just be your real self. Always remember that he chooses you because you are you and there is no one quite like you!

Have your own life and do not cling
Ok, you fell in love with him and you want to be with him 24-7. Yeah, it sounds loving and sweet but spending all day, every day with your guy is unhealthy to the relationship. It is sweet to know that you care and feel so proud of your guy that you cannot bear to leave his side but please give him a break! Of course, he wants to spend time with you too but just not all of it! Sticking to your boyfriend like a leech is a bad idea! It is essential to keep your man wanting more. In other words, do not be a clingy sweetheart who is available 24 hours a day or sit by phone to wait for his phone call! Have time for your interests, friends and family members. Give yourself and him room to breathe, would ya? 

Learn more about him
Do not assume that you know him well just because you know his underwear size, shoe size and etc. There is always a lot to learn about a man, especially if he is the type who plays the cards close to his chest. Try to learn more about him, either from his family members or close friends. He will be amazed to know that you actually show interest and understand him.

Understand his moods
No one is jolly 24 hours a day. We all have our days when we are gloomy, sensitive and irritable. If your boyfriend has had a bad day, do not be suspicious or assume that he does not love you anymore. You may be tempted to help him to soothe his depression or bad mood but think how annoying it can be when you keep asking “Are you ok?”, “What’s the matter?” or “Anything I can do?” Try to give your boyfriend some space to do his thinking and calm his feelings. What you do not do can be more helpful than what you do at times!

Do not try to change him
You are dating him because you think he is great, right? So, accept him for who he is and appreciate the fact that nobody is perfect. It is meaningless to go out with someone and expect him to change the way he dresses, speaks or etc. What if you are dating a guy who tries to change you? Not a good idea, eh?

Feel free to express your opinion
Do not agree to whatever he suggests, because you can never agree on everything he says. Feel free to express your thoughts, likes or dislikes. Many girls are afraid to speak up because they fear that they will offend their boyfriend. You will only lose your identity if you are too watchful of what you want to say or say whatever you think he wants to hear. Many guys will appreciate if you voice your thoughts and have your own views. So, speak your mind whenever it is necessary.

Do not be overly jealous
A little jealousy is healthy for a relationship but being overly jealous will harm. Try to build more trust and be cool about his female clients or friends. Of course, if you caught him having phone sex or texting the opposite sex every night or sticking his tongue down someone else’s throat, well, that is a different story altogether…

Hey guys! Here are 10 things you can do to be a good or should I say a caring boyfriend =)

Be honest with her and with yourself. Never cheat because it will backfire on you. I caught my ex-boyfriend cheating on me and once is enough to convince me to dump him right away, even though the relationship is already 3 years.

Just be yourself. Do not try to impress her, whether it is by saying or doing things you would not do normally in an effort to sound cool or stay quiet just because you are afraid of saying the wrong thing. Over-impressing someone will sometimes affect the way you act and she will notice you to be fake and unnatural eventually. So, just be your real self and he will love it. Always remember that he chooses you because you are you and there is no one quite like you.

Communicate with her. Communication is vital in any relationship. Exchange views and thoughts. Do not do all the talking and expect her to listen to you only. Be a good listener for her as well. Make sure you are really listening when she is talking and do not just wait for your chance to talk or keep talking about yourself.

Have compassion. Try to put yourself in her shoes and you will actually know how she feels and what she is going through. This will eventually enhance the relationship with better understanding.

Understand her moods. Women are pretty emotional and sensitive. Most of us tend get agitated easily particularly when our menses approaching. So, bear with the emotional tantrums.

Be polite, please! Have good manners, say thank you, please and say goodbye before ending calls. Do not hang up the phone suddenly. It is a turn off having bad phone manners and impoliteness is very irritating. Oh yeah, please avoid cursing as well.

Do not embarrass her. Do not go around telling others (even if it is your best friend) about her without her consent. It is a major disrespect and it will hurt her. If you both argued over an issue, do not tell others before discussing the solution with her.

Be thoughtful. Remember important dates such as birthdays or anniversaries and make plans to surprise her. Do not let the relationship turn dull as time passes by. Check out 123 ways to express your love for quick ideas.

Love her for who she is. Do not attempt to change her or compare her to your ex-girlfriends or any celebrities of your fancy. Remember, you chose her initially because of her and not because you want her to be someone else.

Practice good hygiene. Most girls would rather have a boyfriend who cares for hygiene than a boyfriend who is good looking but lack of hygiene. So, take care of your skin, hair and overall health.