Loving someone is never easy. Breaking up with that someone after you have exerted much effort, time and heart is excruciatingly painful! You would probably know what it really feels if you are reading this now. At times, some said that women heal faster because they cry and are more open with their emotions. On the other hand, men do not heal as quickly as women because they are more reserve with their emotions. However, from my perspective, I find that men do not hurt as much as women do, but I do not deny that some do suffer.
In my years of courtship, I went into depression and insomnia 2 times when I broke up with my ex-boyfriends. Yes, I broke up with them but I felt every pain. It was so painful that I could hardly breathe! I have tried numerous ways to cure my bleeding soul and one method I found most useful is to do my prayers and chants. This is one method that works best for me.
I’m a divorcee now. Yes, My marriage ended. I like my ex-husband Brian, but we bumped into too many misfortunes and we are simply not compatible. I have no idea why I always feel that he doesn’t love me, or maybe not enough. Am I being greedy or is it him who fails to deliver his love to me? Lately, someone asked me if I still love him. It is rather hard to erase some lovely memories, so yeah, I still love him but I’m 100% certain that it is impossible for us to be together again. Well... enough of my story. Let me now share some of the methods to heal a broken heart that works excellent for me.
Do your prayers or try to meditate. Find somewhere quiet and comfortable. Make sure no one disturbs you and switch off that cell phone! Let out your emotions, cry if you need to. After that, try to relax your body and mind. Make an effort to brush off whatever rubbish that enters your mind (it is hard initially but it is possible)! Keep trying, relax your muscles and you will be surprised how much tension left after that.
If you are having severe depression, insomnia or too much sleeping, lack of appetite, low self esteem or fail to carry out routine task, seek professional help. Then again, regardless of what professional advice or medications, at the end of the day, it is you who is in control of your own self. Be strong and have the determination.
I love to travel when my heart is broken. I would go sourcing for travel agencies and go to somewhere I have not been to. I'm planning a vacation to Australia some time next month. Do not go back to some place you have been with your ex, unless you want to rewind those unhappy memories.
If you have many friends, surround yourself with them. Arrange for outings or just for a cup of coffee. Force yourself to go out. I tend to cry out my emotions to my friends or contacts via MSN.
Pamper yourself. Go for a new haircut, shopping or a body massage. Treat yourself to something you enjoy.
Consider dating other people. It is part of a healing process.
Resist the urge to call your ex, unless you really want reconciliation and please make sure it is worth it. Do not allow yourself to be hurt again due to a moment of impulse decision. I broke up with one of my ex-boyfriends twice and we reconciled only to know it was a mistake. A huge mistake… So, think before you dial that number.
Always remember that healing takes time. Give your heart time to recover and you will be so glad that it is over when you think back after some time.
Stella is a top agent in her company and has just concluded her biggest business deal for the month. Her energy for the day has drained up and the coffee machine has broken. She can’t wait to be home to unwind for the day, pamper herself in a warm scented bath, and hope that her loving yet unemployed boyfriend is setting up a romantic dinner he has been promising her. With whatever energy left in her body, she walks home the moment the clock strikes at 5.30 pm. She enters into her home sweet home and her other half is lying around with his play station, watching her telly, eating the food she bought and then ask her to pay for his credit card bills for him! Stella is furious but she holds on to her frustration out of love.
The above example shows that Stella is dating a loser! According to most relationship gurus, the percentage of boyfriends taking advantage of their girlfriends who are financially capable is increasing at an upsetting rate. In this modern society, women can also be the major breadwinners because they have become far more independent than their mothers and grandmothers.
Money has been the number one issue for couples other than sex, infidelity or personal differences. Many new couples avoid discussing about money because they find it to be sensitive as well as unnecessary and this is a key reason for relationships to breakdown as it develops. Your relationship could have trouble surviving unless you find a way to balance the issue before the situation escalates out of control. If you are dating a man who does not contribute his responsibilities to the relationship, you will probably end up feeling cheated emotionally and financially when things don’t work out.
Try to talk about the real problem with him as well as his responsibilities to you and the relationship. In many cases, you will find him avoiding the subject matter and may even respond furiously or violently in order to protect his comfortable situation or insist that you continue feeding him, especially if you are a smart professional woman. So, what’s next? Well, if you cherish the relationship, give it a final attempt and consider consulting a counselor who specializes in couple’s therapy. If he is not willing to compromise despite all the discussion and counseling sessions, you know he is only after your money and the best solution is to get away from him ASAP! Never give in to this sort of man. Money cannot buy love and do not let him to brainwash you. Always remember that no man should think that he could escape from his responsibilities just because you are financially fit!
Take a simple test below to see if he loves your money – more than you!
• Do you have to pay when he takes you out for dinner?
• Do you pay for both movie tickets and popcorn all the time?
• Does he borrow money from you occasionally and never pay back?
• Do you have to buy the traveling tickets when the both of you go for a vacation?
• Does he argue with you when you ask him to contribute money paying for household necessities and bills?
• Does he drive your car all the time; refuse to buy his own when he can afford to or treat his own car as a “garage queen”?
• Do you find yourself spending three quarter of your paycheck on him every month?
• Does he ask how much business or money you made everyday when you come home from work?
IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO MORE THAN THREE QUESTIONS ABOVE, WATCH OUT! DANGER AHEAD! YOUR BOYFRIEND IS ALL OVER YOUR MONEY, BIG TIME!
I will discuss about men who fail to fulfil their responsibilities as a husband and father in my upcoming post. So, stay tune and be happy always :)
Guys simply love if you ask him out. Why? It is because some guys fear rejection or simply because they want to save effort doing all the scary hard work. Furthermore, there is no risk of suffering a humiliating “no”!
We all know that it is OK to ask a guy for a date, especially if you are certain that he is also interested in you. So, would you be brave enough to do it? If your answer is yes, how can you do it right and how can you guarantee that he will not turn you down? It is actually not that difficult to date a guy. Well, read on for step-by-step guide to getting a YES from him…
1. Be sure that he is really interested
This is very important! How? You can initiate a casual conversation with him and observe his reactions to you. If he fancies you, the conversation will go on smoothly. You can also tell him a crap joke and see if he laughs. If he laughs all right and genuine, he is yours! For more tips, check out my article on how to tell if he likes you. I have listed 50 ways to tell if a guy is interested in you.
2. Do not judge a book by its cover
It is not necessary that he does not like you if he has not asked you out. It is more likely that he is worried that he might look goofy to you, and most important of all, he is scared of you saying “no” to him.
3. Make inquiries or do some homework about him
Ask around to find out about his interests, hobbies and favorite hang out place. Remember to do it discreetly! You do not want to announce it to the entire world.
4. Flirt with him the right way
• Smile and be courteous at all times.
• Create friendly chats with him as much as possible once you are well-equipped with information about him and impress him with your “natural” knowledge.
• Compliment him. Tell him something like he looks great, but do not overdo it. You only have to make him feel comfy around you.
• Listen to him alertly. This is one of the most effective flirting skills.
• Touch him on his appropriate body parts only and not too much of it. A light touch is enough to send the message across to him.
5. Think of a right way to ask him out
You need to ask him the right question without being too aggressive or desperate if you crave for a positive answer instead of asking the wrong question and create an opening for him to reject you.
Don’t ask… “Would you like to go out with me some day?”
Ask... “So when shall we go out?”
Don't ask... “Do you want to send me home?”
Ask... “I am going now and you could always walk / drive me home”
Don't ask... “Shall we go for a movie this Saturday?”
Ask... “We could meet up if you are planning to go to the pictures on weekend. What time is good for you?’
Don't ask... “Will you be my boyfriend?”
Ask... “When do you think you and me could get together?”
6. Finally, make the approach to date him!
Decide on how you are going to ask him. Do you want to call or ask him face to face? If your cheeks are easily blushed, it is better to use the phone. Do not leave a note for him or beg a friend to ask him for you. Make sure you ask him yourself.
You are in love but your love is miles apart from you. At times, short distance relationship is already difficult but loving with miles can be even more difficult. Then again, I have seen successful long term relationships but it takes a lot of commitment and positive attitude. Here are some of what you can do to make your long distance relationship work. I hope you all will find this article useful.
Discuss important matters beforehand. There will be lots of difficulties ahead. You need to be honest with what you expect from your partner and so does he or she. Be open if it is ok for both of you to date other people or making friends with the opposite sex, and the dos and don’ts. Discuss this with your partner and be very honest to each other so that it can reduce unnecessary suspicions.
Try to avoid jealousy. Jealousy and suspicions is the easiest way to destroy a relationship, no matter how much you love each other. Do not get mad if your partner missed your calls or unable to talk to you because he or she is busy. Leave a message and he / she will call when available. Do not get jealous and throw senseless question if your partner goes out for drinks with people. Never assume the worst. Maintain your social life and be happy. Do not isolate yourself just because your love is far away.
Stay positive. Brush away the negative thoughts and concentrate on the positive side. Being away with your dear is not that bad after all. You can use the available time to pursue your career, interest and hobbies. It also gives you opportunity to build your patience.
Do not attempt to be controlling. No one likes to be manipulated, not even you. Learn to trust each other completely to make the relationship a success. As long as both of you are sincere with the relationship, there is no need to control. Remember that control can damage any relationship just like jealousy.
Visit. If you have the budget, why not visit each other as frequent as possible? Phone calls are not sufficient to make long distance love survive. My friend visited his girlfriend at least 2-3 times per year, their relationship turned out well and they are now married. So, when you have every chance, go visit your partner.
Surprise each other. Surprise your partner with a card, a small gift or something you feel would really put a smile on your partner’s face. Snail mail requires effort but they are romantic. Better still, post your partner a gift!
Bond a lot. A long distance relationship needs lots of communication to make up for physical absence. Nurture and build your emotional intimacy when talking to each other. Update your partner adequately so that the lack of communication doesn’t cause you to drift apart and never ever end the conversation with any argument.
Blog it. Start an online journal like Blogger at www.blogger.com or a online friends network such as Facebook to share your daily dos, post photos or videos, or send virtual hugs, kisses or smiles.
Text each other. Because your phone is with you all the time and text messages are instantaneous, you can feel like you are very close to each other. Get the text messages going with something like “Wishing you were here” or “I am thinking about you right now”.
Do things together. Long distance relationship is very challenging. Relying on phone calls and emails alone can soon be very boring. Thus, it is very important to do things together. For example, schedule a time to meet online and get a webcam so you can see each other, play games or watch a movie at the same time.
Good luck and wishing those in a long distance relationship success ;)
Stay tune for my next post on Mistakes Men & Women Make in a Relationship. Till then, xoxo!
Hello my followers and visitors. Sorry for the lack of post last month. I have been busy with the Lunar New Year but I promise I will be posting much more frequently from now on. I have so many topics I want to write about and share with everyone, suddenly I have so much inspirations from somewhere. Lol! Therefore, do check back often and follow me on twitter (iammyfairlady) if you wish to.
Ok, I am going to put up a list on how to say I LOVE YOU in 112 languages and I hope you will enjoy and yeah, stay tune for more!
1. English - I love you
2. Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
3. Albanian - Te dua
4. Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
5. Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
6. Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
7. Bambara - M'bi fe
8. Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo baashi
9. Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
10. Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
11. Bulgarian - Obicham te
12. Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
13. Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney
14. Catalan - T'estimo
15. Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
16. Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
17. China - Wo ai ni
18. Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
19. Creol - Mi aime jou
20. Croatian - Volim te
21. Czech - Miluji te
22. Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
23. Dutch - Ik hou van jou
24. Esperanto - Mi amas vin
25. Estonian - Ma armastan sind
26. Ethiopian - Afgreki'
27. Faroese - Eg elski teg
28. Farsi - Doset daram
29. Filipino - Mahal kita
30. Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
31. French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
32. Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
33. Georgian - Mikvarhar
34. German - Ich liebe dich
35. Greek - S'agapo
36. Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
37. Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
38. Hawaiian - Aloha wau ia oi
39. Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
40. Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
41. Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
42. Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
43. Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
44. Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
45. Hungarian - Szeretlek
46. Icelandic - Eg elska tig
47. Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
48. Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
49. Inuit - Negligevapse
50. Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
51. Italian - Ti amo
52. Japanese - Aishiteru
53. Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
54. Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
55. Kiswahili - Nakupenda
56. Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
57. Korean - Sarang Heyo
58. Latin - Te amo
59. Latvian - Es tevi miilu
60. Lebanese - Bahibak
61. Lithuanian - Tave myliu
62. Macedonian - Te sakam
63. Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
64. Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
65. Mandarin - Wo ai ni
66. Marathi - Me tula prem karto
67. Mohawk - Kanbhik
68. Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
69. Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
70. Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
71. Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
72. Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
73. Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
74. Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
75. Persian - Doo-set daaram
76. Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
77. Polish - Kocham Ciebie
78. Portuguese - Eu te amo
79. Romanian - Te ubesk
80. Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
81. Scot Gaelic - Tha gradh agam ort
82. Serbian - Volim te
83. Setswana - Ke a go rata
84. Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
85. Sioux - Techihhila
86. Slovak - Lu`bim ta
87. Slovenian - Ljubim te
88. Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
89. Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
90. Swedish - Jag alskar dig
91. Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
92. Tagalog - Mahal kita
93. Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
94. Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
95. Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
96. Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
97. Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
98. Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
99. Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
100. Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
101. Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
102. Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
103. Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
104. Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu
105. Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
106. Yoruba - Mo ni fe
107. Surabaya - aku tresno kara koe
108. Hakka - Ngai oi Ngi
109. Hokkien - Wa ai Lu
110. Mongolia - Bi Charmed heir teh
111. Nederlands - Ik hou van jou, ik zie je graag
112. Maltese - inhobbok
This post gives me the inspiration to write about how to maintain long distance relationship. Yes, that will be the upcoming one, thus please bookmark my blog and visit often.
Cheers & Best Regards!